C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
