It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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