it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
