all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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