The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
