I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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