I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i think i have two assholes
of course. lets lasso hookers.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
