there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
