You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
