Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
