I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
