"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
