now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
