It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
