Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
