I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
only you would photoshop your dick
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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