What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
