I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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