So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
