She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
That accounts for only three of the penises
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
