I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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