Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
