how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
