HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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