dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
