last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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