You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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