My nipple is on Facebook.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
