At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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