dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
