I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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