i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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