return my video game
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
