Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
They have beer where we have blood.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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