The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
