Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Just high enough for therapy.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
