belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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