I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
