Buhtt sex?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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