she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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