Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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