the new term for farting is butt boxing.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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