escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
