I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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