This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
