I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
