I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
