Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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