just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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