i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
